Through Thick and Thin
How an infrastructure for relationships could unlock the collective action we need to accelerate progress towards a world designed for and around relationships
Lots of people in lots of different spaces are doing amazing work around building better relationships, but the connections between these nodes are often weak or non-existent. Drawing on conversations with over 100 people in late 2020 and early 2021, we (led by Iona Lawrence) explore the challenges we share in prioritising relationships in the places that we live and work and the work that needs to be done to address those needs.
Our shared and uniting goal is to build a world that is designed for and around relationships: a world where relationships are the first mile, not the extra one.
Building a Relationship Collective: Our Proposal
Building on the insights unearthed in Through Thick and Thin, we submitted an expression of interest to the Bringing People Together Fund at the National Lottery Community Fund to bring to life the idea of an infrastructure for relationships. Drawing inspiration from Joe Mills and friends in the democracy centre, we decided to publish the proposal in the open so everyone can see what we’re hoping to do and more easily explore ways to collaborate.
In short, the expression of interest we submitted is for a two year project to design, test and build the necessary infrastructure to support shared learning and collaboration in the field of relationships and relationship-centred practice in the coming decades.
We are delighted to say that our application was successful and, as of Autumn 2022, we are focused on developing the infrastructure for a thriving field of relationship-centred practice. Find out more about our plans for the next two years below.
Active Neighbours – Khan
“With all the restrictions in place, there was a lot of questions about how much I could do or how much was normal to do. I didn’t want to put too much stress on myself but I wanted to help out as much as I could. I was brought up in a household where I was expected to do all the housework, the DIY, preparing meals. That was considered normal for me but with some individuals, depending on what their household is like, what is normal is different; I wanted to do more and more but I didn’t want to ask and they didn’t ask.”
Active Neighbours – Kate
“I just think it’s really nice we can each all be each other’s solutions – people are volunteering not because they feel obligated because they’re family -they just want to help you. I always think that’s really powerful. If everyone put in just a few hours a week to help in their community, we can change so much. And I think that’s what we’ve seen during Covid.”
Active Neighbours – Julie
“The satisfaction you get from volunteering is really fulfilling. You get home and know you’ve helped someone that day. It enabled me to meet new people – other volunteers, those we helped. Having the opportunity to talk to some elderly people in the community. When you’re not from somewhere, when would you ever have the opportunity to talk to someone from a different generation?”
Active Neighbours – Josie
“[Covid] was an almighty stop. There are so many people that are natural doers – volunteering and helping others was possibly the only thing they could do. A lot of people potentially thought that was their only option to continue to do something. Covid gave everyone the opportunity to step slightly out of their comfort zone. Everyone needs that door to be slightly open to be able to step through [….] I just have to say that the food bank needs peanut butter, 12 hours later there will be 56 jars on my porch”
Active Neighbours – Jen
“I’m a big believer in gratitude and what you give out is what you get back, and the law of attraction. So I’m that kind of person: what you give out is what you get back. So just being a nice person, and just trying to help and be generous with your time … if you can. Anything you can do to help somebody.”
Active Neighbours – James
“Not patriotism, but I think society is under stress at the moment. I don’t think the government, whatever your view on this particular government, is necessarily capable of meeting all needs. So it’s quite nice to have a purpose to do stuff when you can see an overwhelming need for it. So yes, a massive sense of fulfilment. And I think as I’d alluded to before that when I’d retired I felt I needed something to do. But it’s been great because I’ve met more people in the neighbourhood, working in the kitchen I’ve met some great people – learned much more about food! So generally I’ve enjoyed both experiences a lot.”
Active Neighbours – Isabel
“I think what was really cool at the beginning was it felt like you had this whole potential to really rethink how you interacted with your local area. There was a real sense of possibility that you were really kind of mini-world making or something […] I think politically a lot of people really frown down on traditional charity models – particularly the bifurcation of service users and service providers, and felt like what was needed was something that really lifted people up in the community, and made everyone feel like they were valued and had something to contribute […] which is still a noble goal – but I think it’s hard to do in practice.”
Active Neighbours – Brianne
“So it’s just the connections that have been made, the nice people and the people who have really needed the help that I’ve met. And just seeing everyone come together. I’ve always thought this area has a great sense of community, but this has shown it even more. And it’s shown the people that don’t normally have the time to give to this community – they’ve gone ‘here you go’.”
Active Neighbours – Anna
“In the past I’ve done very much paper-based volunteering, because I guess that’s where my skills lie – but maybe I’ve realised that I quite enjoy meeting people and having that interaction. In particular, I think I’ve enjoyed meeting people that are outside my social circle – because you know, we’re all guilty of having our own little group […], so seeing that people have very different lives – not better or worse, just different, you know – I think has been really interesting for me.”
Active Neighbours – Alan
“I think it’s an interesting one actually for people of my age – single men. At my age – there’s a question of ‘what are you allowed to join?’ that will be positively received? […] There’s a sort of suspicion. But the Covid thing – I think what I really liked about it was the sense that anyone could join and we couldn’t see what each other looked like – we didn’t know how old we were. We didn’t know what social background we were from, we weren’t even talking to one another – because it was all text-based. And so in that sense it was a great leveler, I thought.”