In brief

In this – our second blog exploring the field of relationships – Iona Lawrence and Immy Robinson ask for your help in finding something we can all gather around. You can read the first blog, which lays out what we’re up to, here.

A few weeks ago we wrote about the journey we’re setting out on to explore the field of relationships. Simple, ordinary, human, relationships. What we’re specifically interested in is whether a field building approach would help us all build better relationships in our lives, services, communities, workplaces, schools and beyond. 

Field building proponents Bridgespan explain that at the heart of a field lies a clear purpose. So in this blog we share some initial thoughts on approaches to defining the parameters of the field of relationships and ask for your ideas, comments and critique of the options we lay out. 

How other fields articulate their shared purpose  

Finding something we all have in common. Sounds simple enough. But when it comes to what Bridgespan calls an emergent or growing field there is both an art and a science to finding the sweet spot that brings a field together. It comes down to the language used and the framing of the common purpose, moral idea, common enemy or shared principles.

Done well it offers enough substance for people to organise around and in doing so helps to demarcate the field as unique, actionable and coherent. 

Take palliative care. The field’s shared purpose is to relieve suffering and improve the quality of life of patients who are likely to live through periods of medical crisis before dying.  This is a strong, clear moral idea on which the emergent field in the late 20th century could attract supporters, stimulate alliance building, and mobilize attention (for more information see the introduction to this report from the Kings Health Partners, or Ditillo et al, 2002)

Take democracy. In recent months Joe Mitchell has been exploring the relationships and networks amongst those working on democracy. The majority of people he’s spoken with believe that there is a field that they are part of with their shared identity being that they are all pursuing democratic ideals. 

Take the fields of childhood obesity prevention or childhood tobacco cessation (Ballard et al, 2018). Both these fields have a clear moral idea and a strong sense of a common enemy. 

Finding something we can all gather around 

What all these different field framings have in common is that they offer enough of something for people to hold on to and organise around, without requiring absolute consensus or shared and unified approaches to everything done in the field. 

In our opening blog we wrote: ‘We believe that everything works extraordinarily better when ordinary relationships are valued: people are happier and healthier, communities are stronger and more resilient, and organisations and services are more effective and efficient.’

Our hunch is that this framing is a useful start but isn’t the common purpose or identity for the field. 

First, who other than a small minority of people would disagree with it? Put another way – is a field actually a field if there’s no one who isn’t in it? 

Second, is it energising enough? In our conversations so far there seems to be a feeling that it doesn’t create enough of a gravitational energy to pull disparate actors in the field towards one another and incentivise collaboration. To this end, is the language of ‘relationships’ even the right or best language for us to be using if we want to reach beyond our immediate bubbles?

Emboldened by advice from those who’ve been at field building much longer than we have, we set out three potential approaches to defining and demarcating the field of relationships and invite you to critique, champion or propose entirely an entirely different approach. 
We’d love to get your thoughts and feedback on these. Which approach resonates most? How could the language we’ve suggested be made more inclusive? What are we missing?

Option 1: A moral idea 

A moral idea articulates something that is right or just – a guiding idea that underpins and even drives behaviours within a system. Moral ideas can help to bring people from across the field together, stimulate collaboration and mobilize attention. The moral idea at the heart of the relationships field could be described as:  

Everything works better when relationships are valued; individuals are happier and healthier, communities are stronger and more resilient, organisations are more successful and sustainable. Relationships are valuable in and of themselves, and they’re also valuable for the doors they unlock and the things they make possible. Good relationships aren’t a nice to have or an added extra, they’re the making of it all. 
Other language people use to describe this sort of moral idea includes love. This blog here by Sophia Parker explains how the relationships Little Village unlock are an expression of love. By meeting fight with love, we are inviting our volunteers and visiting families alike to find connection, to walk towards one another. And with connection comes empathy. And with empathy comes solidarity and compassion — the commitment to stand shoulder to shoulder with one another, united in a belief that every parent deserves the right to give their child the best possible start in life. 

Carnegie UK use of the language of kindness in their work on relationships. Further echoed in the activism and leadership of Kim Leadbeater, the sister of Jo Cox in her work encouraging people to reach out to neighbours as part of the Great Get Together in memory of her sister. You’d never catch Kim sitting on the breakfast telly talking about ‘relational practice’. But it’s really the same moral idea she’s appealing to. 

Do you think a moral idea could be the thing we all gather around? If so, what language and framing resonates most for you? 

Option 2: A shared enemy 

A shared enemy is another way to bring people together and incentivise collaboration. Unlike a moral idea which paints a picture of what the world should be, a shared enemy brings people together in a fight against an existing threat, creating a sense of jeopardy and urgency. The moral enemy the relationships field is united against could be described as: 

Meaningful connections are being undermined by fast and feeble transactions. This is weakening our communities, putting profit before people and undermining our ability to tackle the big challenges the world is facing. It’s our relationships with each other – the meaningful, deep ties as much as the thinner convivial ones – in our workplaces, homes, public services, high streets and communities that could make all the difference to the thriving of future generations. 
Is a shared enemy the thing that’s most likely to rally us together? If so, what is the enemy in your eyes?

Option 3: A set of shared beliefs

Or perhaps it’s a set of shared beliefs about why relationships are important and how we can build them that could tie people who share a commitment to relationships. Some shared beliefs might include:  

  • Everything works better when relationships are valued.
  • Relationships are not an alternative priority to better schools, safer streets or stronger communities – they are the making of it all.  
  • Good relationships vary from place to place, but all share some common characteristics: they are personal, mutual, warm and trusting. 
  • We can all play a part in building better relationships, given the permission, autonomy and resources. 
  • There are some shared approaches, resources and infrastructure that Relationships Makers from all different sectors can benefit from. 
Is a set of shared beliefs the best way of articulating the field? If so, how could these be improved?

What do you think? 

Which of the 3 options, or is it something else entirely, that excites or moves you? Which expression of relationships could move you towards connecting and collaborating with other people and organisations with whom you share this belief? Please share your thoughts via this survey or by emailing us. We’d love to hear from you. 

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Fostering an ecology of perspectives

Fostering an ecology of perspectives

We’re featuring a mini blog series, where in each piece, an Enrol Yourself Host reflects on their practice of building strong relationships, as a facilitator. In this blog, James Kite reflects on what we can learn from neurophysiology and companion planting when it comes to peer learning.

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